We’ve all experienced good feelings and happiness as well as bad feelings and depression. But have you ever stopped to think about what exactly makes you depressed? What thoughts and ideas are running through your mind, consciously or unconsciously, when you’re feeling down?
If you sit down to think about this, you’ll find that depression or any kind of bad feeling, such as loneliness, hopelessness and gloominess, is accompanied by feelings of fear. It’s generally fearful thoughts and feelings which make us feel down and dispirited.
What Are You Afraid Of?
You might be afraid of many things, such as not looking attractive, not being successful enough, not pleasing your family members with your life choices, not being able to fulfill your creative aims, not being able to find a partner etc. Different people are afraid of different things, depending on their life experiences.
- If you have been overweight for much of your life, then gaining weight might be a big fear for you, even if you’ve managed to be at a healthy weight for years.
- If you are just coming out of a divorce, then you might be afraid that you’re not going to be able to find another partner.
- If you got passed up for a promotion, you might feel afraid of not being good enough to achieve what you want to achieve.
So the fear you’re feeling in the moment is related to what you’ve been through, now and earlier in your life. In fact, most psychologists believe that childhood fears are the strongest ones and it’s very difficult to overcome them even when you become an adult.
Overcoming Your Fears
There are certain techniques for dealing with fears which you can adopt any time you feel low. If you are alone and don’t particularly wish to share your fears with anyone, you can just write them all down. Make a list of fears on a piece of paper; it doesn’t matter if you repeat them or if they make no sense. You’re not here to judge yourself but to get over this feeling which is holding you back.
If you have a therapist or a friend that you feel comfortable speaking to, then expressing your fears to them can also have the same effect. But keep in mind that no matter who you speak to, they are bound to have a take on what you tell them. And if they mistakenly say the wrong thing, they might end up strengthening your fear rather than helping you get rid of it.